Kylie Reese: LA Department of Transportation's Femme Fatale

Gene Ross from and writes: Will she be the next engine in the Kacey Jordan train wreck, or is Kylee Reese a star about to be born, as they say?

In instances like Kylee's, we're certain it's only a matter of minutes or seconds  before Charlie Sheen gets a hold of her phone number. If he hasn't already.

Kylee ReeseUntil a few days ago when shocked Los Angeles news stations lit the airwaves with censored footage of a cavorting Kylee teasing a couple of about to be unemployed  LA Department of Transportation boys in blue, we knew her primarily from tasteful family fare. Like the Oscar winning "Daddy, Please Stop Fucking My Friends!"

In that carefree, hint-of-incest romp dedicated to "opening" channels of communication between father and daughter, if you get the drift, Kylee's ditched by her boyfriend and daddy Rod Fontana offers her succor. A word which can be taken in the strongest of literal senses as illustrated by Kylee.

God, we loved both her and her ass in that motion picture, and Kylee even got a Hustler boxcover out of it. But as it usually goes, porn critics become evenly, sometimes maniacally, divided on specific filial issues. 

Was Kylee better in "It's Okay, She's My Stepdaughter 5" where she's seen prancing around in her underwear then walking bare ass in on her step daddy who's taking a shower?

In a country such as where Lupe Fuentes hails from, this is seen as a common rites-of-passage occurrence; whereas, in the United States, it's 10 to 20.

And where some performers might bring the gorgeous torment of a Bronzini opera to their interpretation of the role, Kylie is nearly Chekovian, a souffle of unbridled energy and intellectually convincing as a stepdaughter coming to grips with an overdue menstrual cycle, a sex drive that needs quenching and a possible Federal indictment resulting . We kid, of course.

But when the porn history books finally get around to making their next bold entry, Kylee will be best remembered as the femme fatale who brought an entire metropolis to its knees  with her part in the Brazzer's website scandal.

When a naked blonde walks casually around town performing lead vocal in the devil's symphomy, city officials end up calling for heads on a silver platter. We call it a reflection of the compromised times we live in.

Off camera, Kylee's a former stripper from Carson City, Nevada, a valley formerly inhabited by the Washoe Indians  before greedy prospectors, eager to jump on the Comstock Lode, picked them off one by one and buried them in unmarked graves.

Unaware of those events, and probably much less giving a shit in the bargain, Kylee  came into the adult business in 2006 after trying her hand at stripping.  Her buddies on the runway were Ava Rose and Mia Rose.  Kylee may or may not have colorful stripper stories where irate customers, soaked in gin, feel they can get to know her better at the point of a shotgun.

Whether she does or not, Kylee thought  she could become a Jenna Jameson until someone politely informed her there already was one, and that she'd have to go on a diet of sawdust if she entertained any thoughts of having the kind of body that looks flatter than piss on a plate.

Rather than staying up all night in the company of serious degenerates, Kylee's a "yuppie" homebody who enjoys nothing better than evenings indoors curled up with a mason jar of rotgut home brew and one of those things you Twitter with.

Kylee also enjoys reading books on how to make money, better yet, fucking generous guys who already have, so she doesn't have to go to the trouble of doing it herself. As cute and adorable as she is, Kylee tends to intimidate the average guy.

In interviews, Kylee, a let's go buck bathing with strangers kind of girl, alas, gives the impression that her love life's like swamp gas.

If given her choice, Kylee's attracted to scowling, bearded revolutionaries who have known the thrill of robbing troop trains. Instead, she generally finds herself pestered by guilt ridden basement dwellers who have had very close relationships with their grandmothers.

True story: Kylee originally moved to California with a boyfriend. Eventually, his parents found out that she does porn and they made him move home, threatening to cut off his family inheritance.

Like a film noir, such high-spirited women who choose to perform in degrading picture shows, are very dangerous to know.

In the end, when the pay back man is paid back, their mummified remains might be found in an abandoned cottage with months' worth of mail left piled up and unopened. Or sometimes in a gas chamber as part of a foiled plot to murder a jealous husband in a romantic triangle, or perhaps they're discovered, left in a heap in a dank motel room with a sucking chest wound.

Not to put a damper on things, when does it ever end pretty?


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