The Little Lupe Kiddie Porn Controversy
Gene Ross from www.adultfyi.com - What's in a name, really? There's probably millions of dames out there with the handle, Zuleidy Piedrahita. For Pete's sake, it's as common as Almadea Przyborowski.
Hollywood actresses, along with their bust lines, change their nationality all the time. Bombshell Jayne Mansfield was even considering a name change to Zuleidy Piedrahita when she was thinking of going Colombian. So was Ava Gardner. [Why do you think she and Sinatra fought so much?]
So we must assume, immediately, that Little Latin Lupe Loo Fuentes, who's real name, coincidentally, is also Zuleidy Piedrahita, isn't the same woman wanted all over Interpol. Alleged participation in a kiddie porn ring, the boys with the badges and accents are saying. Plausible explanations and deniability, one would assume, will be the order of the day.
Still, it looks as though the Wizard of Oz porn parody starring Little Lupe, not to be confused with the horse running in the Fifth at Santa Anita, might have to be put on hold for awhile while her people busy up with damage control. Another possibility is the re-casting of the head munchkin.
But even the mere thought of Little Lupe, often mistaken for a South American Verne Troyer lookalike, being involved in anything shady, must be perished immediately.
There's too much at stake. A successful I Love Lupe website. [Lucille Ball must be rolling over in her grave.]
There's also weekly Webcam shows. PR representation that must cost her a bundle each month. Regular appearances on the Howard Stern Show in which the Fifty-ish Stern, like a St. Bernard on cue, requisitely slobbers over Lupe's youth and vitality. A Wicked contract. Plus an undying love for Evan Seinfeld who apparently left the sultry Tera Patrick for someone his height was more comfortable dealing with in those many red carpet photo ops.
As always, the presumed innocent tenet must prevail. And the fact that Little Latin Lupe Loo manufactures her allure based on the forbidden rites of youthful panties and just a playful hint of talcum powder and baby rattles must be considered another unfortunate coincidence.
And, please, don't even consider as facts-in-evidence the time when Fuentes and Seinfeld were being sued in a copyright infringement case involving the "Little Lupe" name. Something about 50 stolen videos and false copyright information. Who ya gonna believe? Lawyers?
At 4'9", Lupe, who's as diminutive as a Puerto Rican Shirley Temple, is little all by herself. She needs no one's help to come up with the uninspired and too obvious trademark, "Little". Little Richard got away with it for years and no one fucked with him, right?
As it is, today's successful people are invariably targets, and what really put the bullet in Lupe's popularity ass and shot her up the charts was one of those stories, which, in its reconsideration, kinda makes you wonder.
Let's go back to April of 2010 when Little Latin Lupe made a surprise appearance in a Puerto Rican courtroom. It had nothing to do with a greaseball named Chico, a knife fight between The Sharks and The Jets or Lupe playing Maria in the porn version of West Side Story.
On trial was Carlos Simon-Timmerman, not to be confused with Carly Simon. From New York, Carlos is a fan of Lupe's. He was visiting his home country of Venezuela and was excited, as you might be, to find a Lupe compilation DVD at a local flea market containing her early movies.
Upon returning home on August 11, 2009, on a stopover in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Carlos, not to be confused with Carlos the Jackal, was detained. The spoil sports in US customs then proceeded to seize Carlos' DVDs including, "Little Lupe the Innocent: Don't Be Fooled By Her Baby Face." Talk about taking a title on face value and jumping to conclusions.
Assuming words like "baby face" and "innocent" were kiddie porn code words for underage cock sucking, government officials proceeded to arrest Carlos. They charged him with illegal possession and transportation of images involving minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct.
After spending nearly two months in jail and with a 20-year maximum prison sentence staring him in the face, Carlos looked like he was heading for Pedoville- a special prison manned by sneering big-bellied Turkish wrestlers who know how to handle perverts who like the young stuff. Remember the two morons who prosecuted the Stagliano case and tripped all over their high heels in doing so? Same thing happened here, sort of.
A Special Agent of Immigration and Customs Enforcement that deals with child porn and child exploitation cases, testified that Lupe was "definitely" under the age of 18. The government then presented the "expert" testimony of a pediatrician. He also assured the courts that Little Lupe was "positively" underage. The only thing missing was the birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese with the incriminating Polaroids.
Things were looking pretty bleak indeed for Charlie without some way of finding production dates for Lupe's videos and photos to dishonor the prosecution. Via MySpace, his legal team managed to contact Lupe hoping her testimony would help. Lupe immediately agreed and flew to Puerto Rico on April 6th, 2010 to appear in court the next day to state her case.
She also presented, as evidence, copies of documents showing her birth date, and dates of production for the Little Lupe DVD. A letter of endorsement from Gary Coleman also helped.
Armed to the gills, Lupe, thus, strutted into the courtroom looking as regal as a Mickey Rooney mail order bride.
"It was like a courtroom drama in a movie," recalled Assistant Public Defender Héctor L. Ramos-Vega.
"When Lupe walked in [reportedly to the tune of Elton John's Tiny Dancer], she looked like she was seven feet tall. She owned the room, and she immediately won the jury over," said Ramos-Vega.
The prosecution, recognizing that its case had been completely discredited by a woman under the height of 5 feet, moved to dismiss all of the charges against Carlos, not to be confused with Charlie Sheen.
"Lupe is a humanitarian who cares about justice, and cares about her fans," Ramos-Vega would also say glowingly on her behalf.
On her first Howard Stern show appearance, Stern brought up the trial and said he was nervous having Lupe on because he might go to jail. One also assumes Stern was being facetious with his barrage of incessant 12 year-old comments.
Lupe mentioned that she grew up in Madrid, Spain and that her pussy is like a machine to make money. Imagine making that amusing comment to your date's parents when they're giving you the third degree.
Stern then asked if Lupe's parents are mad at her for what she does. Lupe, thus dispelling rumors that she had been found at the bottom of a cereal box, said her folks know what she does and love her just the same although they don't like it.
For the record, Lupe started having sex at the age of 13 when she began sucking cock and apparently lost her virginity on the floor of a dirty gas station bathroom while retrieving a Maxipad.
Not fully versed in the travel etiquette of the Continental United States, Lupe once had sex on an airplane, got caught, and had the police waiting for her in Austin, Texas when the plane landed. According to Lupe, she ran away and didn't get arrested. Of course that could all change with these latest developments.
Howard asked Lupe if she knew any celebrities besides Leonardo DiCaprio. Attracted to men generally taller than her, Little Lupe said she met Kid Rock but didn't sleep with him, noting that The Kid, however, loves to fuck and is attracted to women generally shorter than him. Stern wondered if she ever blew George Clooney, to which Lupe said she met him but nothing happened.
Also revealed in the Stern interview is Lupe's profuse dislike for Gypsies and Arabs. Lupe explained that she doesn't like Gypsies because they steal, don't work and give bad Tarot Card readings. But she didn't seem to have much of a reason for hating the Arabs other than their having big noses that scare her.
Asked how she met Evan Seinfeld, Lupe said it was on Myspace, although she'd later admit in private conversation she was under the impression it was Jerry Seinfeld.
In recent days, Lupe's sterling reputation has been dragged through the mud when shit hit the bullring in Spain. Police arrested her ex-husband, director Pablo Lapiedra, also known as the porno Pedro Almodovar.
The charges against Lapiedra, a Spanish native, were prostituting, recording Colombian children in porno films and smelling their ankle socks. Lapiedra then sold the movies.
According to the story, the girls were tricked by Lapiedra into thinking they were casting for a mainstream film about sucking cock. Lapiedra also provided them false documentation to appear older. The investigation began in late 2008 after the Federal Bureau of Technical Investigation (BIT) of the Spanish police, in collaboration with Colombia's National Police and Interpol, detected a teenage prostitute network operating in Latin American countries.
The tip-off came from the head of a Medellin institute who was informed by some students that a fellow student was starring in a porn film. In the film, the 16 year old girl was molested by two men as well as the cameraman and an unemployed bullfighter. The film was placed on an internet site where it could be downloaded for up to $100. Early investigations showed the internet site was registered under Lupe Fuentes using her married name Zuleidy Piedrahita.
News reports claim Interpol has issued an international arrest warrant for Fuentes. The question at this juncture might ask: Was Fuentes personally involved in this sordid mess, or was Lapiedra merely telling wild stories about her in his unabiding jealousy of Evan Seinfeld?
Which ever way, we assume this is all just a giant misunderstanding and that the authorities are really seeking the notorious cross-dresser Pedro Fuentes who's played Major League baseball under a number of aliases and has frequented Cuban gay bars in Miami.